I DO (Book Excerpt)

Reading 11

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God
as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid
because I was naked; so I hid.”

And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

And the man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Genesis 3:8–13

The bad news is that sin always makes us want to hide—from God and from each other. We don’t like admitting we are wrong, so we hide, blame each other, or make excuses. God wants us to come out in the open and face up to our mistakes.

The good news is that God is always out there looking for us, calling “Where are you?” God knew where Adam was. But He wanted Adam to know where he was and face up to what he had done. God has a remedy for mistakes and wrong choices. From the very beginning it seems clear that God is in the business of restoring people to fellowship.

Wisdom tells you to keep short accounts with each other in the face of misunderstandings or wrongs done in marriage. But scared humanness still wants to hide or blame. It’s the difference between being open with each other or closed.

If you want a happy marriage (and life with God!) you will learn how to settle all misunderstandings and wrongs quickly. You have to stop wearing your own designer fig leaves. What have you to lose by admitting you were wrong?

Love covers sin, yet love also exposes sin. Love is responsible; it has an abiding quality. It will never be transformed into something better, for it is itself the
transforming power. Love begets love. Love knows no age limit; love never ends.

Forgiveness is God’s gracious gift of love to you. God is getting you ready for heaven where you will know perfection. But right now He wants you to start with honesty.

Marriage is full of opportunities to love and to extend grace to each other. Both of you are imperfect. When you keep on loving and extending grace, you are living out the image of God in you.

• What do you still need to learn about handling guilt?

• How can you keep from handling resentments in sneaky ways?

• How sure are you of God’s forgiveness of your sins?

Prayer: Father God, thank you for calling out to find us wherever we are. Help us to be honest with you and with each other, unafraid to admit wrong and to ask forgiveness. Give us open faces and open hearts. Thanks that failure is not final with you. Amen.
____________________________

This excerpt was taken from I DO: 30 Readings to Inspire Love and Conversation About Important Issues in Marriage.

©2010 by Gladys Hunt and Keith Hunt
All rights reserved.
Discovery House Publishers
Grand Rapids, Michigan.

978-1-57293-377-4
pp. 56-58

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Wise Parenting: Guidelines from the Book of Proverbs

Parenting Styles
As you think about your own personality and how that might affect
your parenting, consider these four types of parenting styles:

Permissive parents—tend to be too lenient, do not set good
boundaries, are not demanding, and do not expect their children to
act their age. They also avoid confrontation. Their children often
grow up to be reckless, bossy, and aggressive adults who tend to
have low self-control and lack achievement.

Authoritarian parents—tend to be demanding, but not responsive
to their children. They focus on obedience and orders to be
followed, with little or no flexibility. Their rules are clear and rigid
and they use punishment to control behavior. Their children tend to
become unhappy, anxious, resentful, stressed, and unfriendly adults.

Uninvolved parents—don’t respond and don’t demand. They
are unavailable to their children and may even reject their children.
Their children tend to look to other people as role models (often
inappropriate people, since no one has helped them learn how to
choose good role models); they also have low self-esteem and lack
confidence.

Authoritative parents—have a good balance between responsiveness
and demands. They set clear standards for their children,
but they are also supportive and encouraging. They are not punitive,
but have clear guidelines that the children are expected to
follow. They control their children’s behavior by explaining rules
with discussion, not demands. When the boundaries or guidelines
are crossed, there is some form of discipline administered that has
already been clearly specified. They listen to their children, even
when they do not agree with them. Their children tend to develop
into friendly, cheerful, cooperative adults.

It is apparent that this last type of parenting style, the authoritative
parent, is the best—a balance between nurturing and guidelines.
This parenting style will raise the most well-adjusted and
emotionally healthy children. It is interesting that this is the parenting
style described in Proverbs. However, being a good parent is
a process, and there will be times that we do a great job and other
times that we will fail miserably. It will be times like the latter that
draw us back to our heavenly Father to ask Him for help and guidance
in raising our children.

So with a prayer that God will make us better parents, let’s get
started on our journey to understanding wise parenting and hopefully
becoming wise parents.

___________________________________________

This excerpt was taken from Wise Parenting: Guidelines from the Book of Proverbs
©2009 by Paul Wegner
978-1-57293-352-1
Pages 20-21

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