Tag Archives: Christian Life

Finding Hope in Life’s Losses

BEYOND THE VALLEY

Introduction

I never planned to have valleys on the topographical map of my life. My map, as I saw it, would always consist of the high road. The smooth road. The pathway lit up by God’s love and decorated with His gift of the abundant life. It was to be the journey of the trying-to-be-godly-but-appreciating-aforgiving-God Christian. The walk of the trusting believer.

Yet here I am, still surprised and shocked to be walking through the valley of the shadow of death.

The way I figured it, my wife and I would raise up our four kids in the way they should go, and when we were old they would all be there to take care of us.

We were thirty years into this marriage-and-family thing, and we were enjoying God’s continued blessing.

We loved the stuffing out of life. Not that every day was always easy and full of smiles and laughing, but for the most part, our direction was still heading securely toward the road to blessedness. Up on the mountain. Far from the valley.

Take Thursday, June 6, 2002, for instance.

It was a typical day in the light of God’s grace. In fact, it was a bright, sunny, warm day that reminded us that the good times of summer were about to shine across our lives. And since it was the last day of school, our kids were enjoying the lightheartedness of impending vacation.

At home on that evening, my fifteen-year-old son Steve and I had settled in to keep an eye on the Detroit Red Wings’ hockey game. We weren’t huge hockey fans, but this was the Stanley Cup playoffs and these were our Red Wings, so we were tuned in.

Julie, our second-oldest daughter, had just come home from her summer job at a grocery store, reminding us again that this job made her extremely thankful that she had just graduated from college and would soon be heading for her first teaching job at a Christian school in Florida.

Indeed, the sisters—Julie, Lisa (our oldest, who lived in Ohio with her husband Todd and was a schoolteacher), and our youngest daughter, Melissa—had already purchased plane tickets for an all-sisters vacation in Orlando, Florida. The sisters (born strategically four years apart, each in July) were to take in the wonderful world of Disney, and then the rest of us would show up at Pompano Beach to move Julie and her stuff into her place near the Christian school where she would be debuting as a teacher.

The summer looked bright enough to call for sunglasses.

But back to our June 6 evening. Sue, my wife, was reading the paper, winding down her day and preparing to go to bed. She had to be on the job early the next day at the nursing home where she was a nurse—and where Melissa worked part-time. Mell, too, would be working on Friday.

Sue didn’t want to go to bed until she knew Melissa was safely home. Mell was at a cottage on Lake Michigan with some school friends where the parents hosted an end-ofschool party of pizza, jet-skiing, and just good times. Melissa had called her mom at eight o’clock to tell us she would be on her way home with her boyfriend Jordan at nine.

The path of our life had been so direct. Four kids. Four kids who had trusted Jesus and made us proud. The pathway of a family with its eye on loving each other and honoring God in life. We could see the valley, but it seemed so far away as to be inaccessible.

Yet at just after nine p.m. on that gorgeous Michigan spring night, our lives veered off the path we thought would be ours for the rest of our time on earth. We careened off that pathway and went straight into the valley—an unfamiliar, dark, and deep ravine of near hopelessness.

While Jordan and Melissa were on their way home that evening, traveling on an unfamiliar road, Jordan pulled his car into an intersection—where it was hit broadside by another teen driver.

Melissa, our seventeen-year-old daughter and sister—a girl who loved to cook odd concoctions in the kitchen, who never liked to be idle for a minute, who played varsity softball and volleyball, who had a solid though not flashy faith in Jesus, who was a bright light of joy and love to her many friends at school
and church, and who had grown from a frightened little preschooler into a self-confident teen—was killed instantly.

Our family was plunged into a new existence. Now the mountaintop was so far away we couldn’t see it.

Suddenly, and without warning, we found ourselves walking numbly through the valley of the shadow of death. We were thrust into the place where we had to test the Psalm 23 promise that God’s presence will make sure we “fear no evil.”

We found ourselves in a far different place than we had ever been in before.

A place where life is not as much fun as it used to be.

A place where harmless words from well-meaning others can turn into unshakeable irritants.

A place where hearing other people harmlessly laughing often seems completely incongruous with how we feel.

A place where the God we knew and loved and served sometimes seems more mysterious than knowable—and we realized this just at the time we needed Him the most, when we first arrived in the valley.

Have you ever been in the valley? The valley that comes with life’s troubles and pain?

If so, or if you have ever walked with those who dwell in its misty atmosphere, I invite you to walk along with me for a while. As I journey, I am continually seeking the help of the One who promised never to leave me. I’m begging the One who said not to fear to give me peace. I’m pleading with the God of all comfort to explain what that word means to the uncomfortable. I’m clinging with all my might to the One who said I could never be plucked from His hand. I’m struggling to trust completely the One I trusted with my daughter—knowing that she now dwells in His presence and not mine.

Walk with me, won’t you? Together, we can find hope, solace, comfort, and sometimes even joy—while seeking to go beyond the valley.

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This excerpt was taken from Beyond the Valley: Finding Hope in Life’s Losses

©2010 by Dave Branon
All rights reserved.
Discovery House Publishers
Grand Rapids, Michigan.

978-1-57293-373-6
pp. 7-10

To order a copy of Beyond the Valley, please click here.

Email publicity@dhpinreview.com, if you would like a review copy.

Best Friends with God (Book Excerpt)

God Sends His Love

The Emmaus Travelers 

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8 

I went for a long time, years really, where I couldn’t perceive God’s love for me. In my quest for answers, I often asked my pastor, “How do I know that God loves me?” My pastor always came back to the fact that Christ died for me. While that answer was true, it wasn’t particularly satisfying. Christ died for everyone else, too. God loved “the world,” but did He love me? 

If you have ever wondered, as I have, if God loves you, you know that His love can seem distant and impersonal. We know that somewhere “out there” God loves us, but here and now we struggle to feel God’s love for us. We tend to think of God loving “the world” as in John 3:16. By extension, we acknowledge that we are included in that set, though it seems impersonal. We know that Christ died for us, but He died for everyone else too. 

Seeking an answer to my question, I immersed myself in the study of God’s Word, looking up every verse about God’s love. But while I learned about God’s love, I still didn’t feel it. I could see how God interacted with different people in the Bible so I knew that God loved Abraham, Moses, and David, but did He love me? Then I began to realize that God did not just love them as part of the collective, “the world,” but as individuals. His love was demonstrated in the unique relationship He had with each of them. God interacted in specific ways to respond to their situations: to ease their doubts, to give them faith and courage, or whatever they needed as an individual. 

God wanted to respond to me in the same way. I began to bring Him my doubts, fears, heartaches, and problems. As God responded in specific ways, relating to me personally, no longer felt that God loved me only as part of the collective. God didn’t just love the world; He loved me. 

The question “What’s God done for me lately?” might seem like self-centered ingratitude, but perhaps it  expresses the deepest longing of our heart to be in a relationship that is personally relevant and dynamic. We don’t want a “once upon a time” story about what God did for us two thousand years ago; we want to experience a dynamic relationship with God on a daily basis. We want a page-turner that keeps us engaged from beginning to end with love, drama, constant action, and everpresent hope in spite of impossible circumstances. 

Still, in order for us to experience a dynamic love story today, we must go back two thousand years ago to the events of the cross that made our love relationship with God possible. Two men walking home from Jerusalem discussed the unfolding drama that occurred during the Passover. Jesus, whom they had hoped to be the Messiah, had been crucified, and now there were rumors of His resurrection. On the way, a fellow traveler, a man they didn’t immediately recognize, joined them and explained all the things the Scriptures said concerning the Messiah. The events of this journey are recorded in Luke 24, and while we don’t know the details of the travelers’ dialogue, we do know that they discussed the various promises of God in the Old Testament regarding the Messiah He would send. Like the Emmaus travelers, we will see how the events of Christ’s death and resurrection make it possible to experience a dynamic relationship with God on a daily basis.
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This excerpt was taken from Best Friends with God: Falling in Love with the God Who Loves You 

©2010 by Christy Bower
All rights reserved.
Discovery House Publishers
Grand Rapids, Michigan. 

978-1-57293-372-9
pp. 7-9 

To order a copy of Best Friends with God, please click here

Email publicity@dhpinreview.com, if you would like a review copy.

I DO (Book Excerpt)

Reading 11

Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God
as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid
because I was naked; so I hid.”

And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

And the man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Genesis 3:8–13

The bad news is that sin always makes us want to hide—from God and from each other. We don’t like admitting we are wrong, so we hide, blame each other, or make excuses. God wants us to come out in the open and face up to our mistakes.

The good news is that God is always out there looking for us, calling “Where are you?” God knew where Adam was. But He wanted Adam to know where he was and face up to what he had done. God has a remedy for mistakes and wrong choices. From the very beginning it seems clear that God is in the business of restoring people to fellowship.

Wisdom tells you to keep short accounts with each other in the face of misunderstandings or wrongs done in marriage. But scared humanness still wants to hide or blame. It’s the difference between being open with each other or closed.

If you want a happy marriage (and life with God!) you will learn how to settle all misunderstandings and wrongs quickly. You have to stop wearing your own designer fig leaves. What have you to lose by admitting you were wrong?

Love covers sin, yet love also exposes sin. Love is responsible; it has an abiding quality. It will never be transformed into something better, for it is itself the
transforming power. Love begets love. Love knows no age limit; love never ends.

Forgiveness is God’s gracious gift of love to you. God is getting you ready for heaven where you will know perfection. But right now He wants you to start with honesty.

Marriage is full of opportunities to love and to extend grace to each other. Both of you are imperfect. When you keep on loving and extending grace, you are living out the image of God in you.

• What do you still need to learn about handling guilt?

• How can you keep from handling resentments in sneaky ways?

• How sure are you of God’s forgiveness of your sins?

Prayer: Father God, thank you for calling out to find us wherever we are. Help us to be honest with you and with each other, unafraid to admit wrong and to ask forgiveness. Give us open faces and open hearts. Thanks that failure is not final with you. Amen.
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This excerpt was taken from I DO: 30 Readings to Inspire Love and Conversation About Important Issues in Marriage.

©2010 by Gladys Hunt and Keith Hunt
All rights reserved.
Discovery House Publishers
Grand Rapids, Michigan.

978-1-57293-377-4
pp. 56-58

To order a copy of I DO, please click here.

Email publicity@dhpinreview.com, if you would like a review copy.

A Christian Perspective on Pain and Suffering

More than an AspirinMore Than An Aspirin

by M. Gay Hubbard

A client whose daughter had been murdered came to me for help in the early weeks of her grief and struggle. In her first appointment she noticed a Bible lying open on my desk and burst out in angry tears.

“Don’t read me Bible verses about praising God or verses that say God took Lindy because He wanted her with Him. I don’t want a therapist who will read me verses like that.”

“No. I won’t read you verses like that,” I told her gently. “I understand this is not the time for that.”

Our first hour together was clearly not the time for that. Nevertheless, rightly understood, and in the right time, James’s characteristic bluntness expresses a radically wonderful truth. God means for us through His grace to redeem our pain—to use it as a journey into joy and maturity. He means for us to be more than survivors; He means for us to be conquerors in every circumstance of life, however difficult that circumstance may be. No matter how terrible the events through which we must live, it is God’s intention for us to be transformed, not destroyed. Now that is good news.

However, we have a part in bringing about God’s remarkable intended outcome. Transformation is not a matter of heavenly magic. Neither is it solely the result of human will power. It is a mysterious joint project in which God invites us to participate. And invite is precisely what God does. While God desires our participation, He does not coerce. We discover that at the core of participation lies something far different from a blind obedience to rules. Participation is relational; it is a call to know God andthe fellowship of His suffering (Philippians 3:10). And it is this participation through relationship with Him t at changes our hearts, alters our view of the world, and transforms the outcome of our pain.

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This excerpt was taken from More Than An Aspirin: A Christian Perspective on Pain and Suffering
©2009 by M. Gay Hubbard
978-1-57293-257-9

Click here to order a copy of More Than An Aspirin.

Email publicity@dhpinreview.com, if you would like a review copy.

Are you living with thorns?

living-thorns-final

Are you fighting a chronic illness, living in a strained relationship, grieving over the death of a loved one, struggling with depression or an addiction?

As Christians, we are enamored with the success stories. We revel in God’s miracles. But, Mary Ann Froehlich, author of the new release Living with Thorns, asks, is there a deeper miracle that we are missing?

“We may be overlooking the miraculous lives of those who live with visibly unchanged circumstances, the ‘less than success’ stories,” observes Froehlich. “If you see yourself in this group, you are in good company. Many of God’s followers throughout Scripture are our models. This book is about the imperfect life.”

Instead of asking “why,” maybe we should be asking “who.” Who do we turn to when life becomes unbearable? The answer: God. He speaks to us through our affliction and uses our thorns to rescue us and draw us closer to Him.

If you struggle with thorns that you cannot overcome, Mary Ann Froehlich offers comfort, encouragement, and tangible survival tools for facing unchanged circumstances and fighting the despair that so often accompanies our pain.

Click here to purchase a copy of Living with Thorns or email me at publicity@dhpinreview.com to request a copy for print or broadcast review or to set up an interview with Mary Ann Froehlich.

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Mary Ann Froehlich is a music therapist-board certified and Suzuki music teacher. She and her husband, John, have three children. Mary Ann has worked in hospitals, schools, churches, and private practice. She has written articles, music, and eleven books. She has a doctorate in music from the University of Southern California and an MA from Fuller Theological Seminary.